Back on the Wondering Path
There have been so many times in my life, as I have zigged and zagged into new endeavors, discovering new aspects and interests and throwing myself headlong into the life in front of me, that I have wondered, “how in the heck did I get HERE?” I’m pretty sure many of you can relate to this feeling. You discover yourself interested in something completely new and marvel at the direction your life has taken.
On my journey, some things were expected. I had always been interested in creative things. That was the grounding in a life that continued to change. So when I found myself engaging in a new craft to sell and try and make a living doing; from weaving to kite making, calligraphy and sign painting, sewing or a myriad of other fiber arts, I just understood it as the growth of my creative self. Of course, some of those endeavors found more success than others. I don’t have the deep dedication it takes to stay with a single track and master it. Truthfully it never was the “product” that excited me as much as the creative process itself. I often found myself slogging through the application of the idea, with my energy already moving to the next creative idea.
Moving has always been a part of my life. I had the wonderful privilege of living in some amazing places around the world but it wasn’t until I arrived in Asheville that I realized I might stay in one place. In Asheville I found the earth connection that feeds my soul and so striking roots here only made sense. But for someone used to moving, that was challenging. So instead of changing homes, I changed my personal path and moved from business woman to home builder to politics and community service and all along it I looked to how to keep my creative connection alive.
I dabbled with all sorts of things, but one thing was consistent, my desire to keep learning new things. It took me 33 years but I finished an undergraduate degree that started in the field of Music, as a piano player, zigged into the arts after a nasty professor popped my musical value, and finally leaned into literature after one university rejected all the credits of the previous one. I persisted with a class at a time until I had enough credits for more than 2 degrees, but even better than that, I had had the opportunity to really go down so many interesting paths and learn so many new things. Ever a junky for learning, I got my Masters as few years after that. That was a long and meandering path for sure but I kept the journey going one step at a time and it was so worth it.
When I found myself serving in local politics, I was as surprised as anyone to find myself there. My pathway into local politics started after taking some real time off from what had been a grueling stage of life that had demanded a lot of me. In both business and in my personal life, (young children and running a business at the same time) I had been pushed to the edges of my limits and realized that I needed to quit focusing so much on doing and understand what it was to BE. I remember sitting in the garden on the initiation of my sabbatical, looking up at the sky, and saying “I’m going to take a break, if you need me for anything, just let me know.” Well, lo and behold about a year later I found myself standing up in the middle of a community meeting and pushing back against the BS that we were being told. And then I found myself elected to office as the first write in candidate in WNC in a long damn time. Then on to a higher office and all in all I spent another 13 years giving all I had to my community. Once again I wondered, “how in the heck did I get here.”
It was about that time, when walking around the lake as I did everyday to heal a back injury, that the thought came into my head. “Every step you take is the path you make.” And I knew then and there, that if I paid attention to the now, to taking that step in front of me, then I could look back at the path confidently and know I had done the best I could. I got my greatest peace from practicing that attention to presence, to trusting that if I was awake to the moment I couldn’t look back with regrets. It would give me the foundation of support to know that what unfolded was the next right thing.
Also around that time, I was fortunate to get the opportunity to turn to music again and I was determined to not let the judgement of others deter me. I discovered that in fact it WAS the creative flow that gave me the most juice. I loved not having a product at the end of the performance. It was always about being present in the moment, in giving it all you have, opening up to that place from which our creative selves express themselves and allow it to lead the way. I had some great time, performing with some very talented people and in some surprising places. The path continues to invite me into those places periodically. A true gift.
And now, I find myself here at my new project, Wondering Path Studio, offering Intuition Painting and other modalities, This work is about supporting others in igniting their inner presence and inviting it out for playful expression. I can attest to the power of this work, exercising that part of ourselves so easily put aside in this modern world. I know first had how it helps me find my way to that deep peace that comes from allowing ourselves to BE. Without judgement. Without worry. Without the skills we were told we had to have to let our artistic self emerge. No “work of art” pressure. Just the experience of the moment with our selves.
“How in the heck did I get here?” One step at a time, seeking my authentic life and grabbing every opportunity to BE. And I love being here in the studio, letting my creative, intuitive self lead the way.
