Back on the Wondering Path

There have been so many times in my life, as I have zigged and zagged into new endeavors, discovering new aspects and interests and throwing myself headlong into the life in front of me, that I have wondered, “how in the heck did I get HERE?” Some things were expected, doing a new craft that I was trying to sell and make a living on; from weaving to kite making, calligraphy and sign painting, sewing or a myriad of other fiber arts. Some had more success than others, as truthfully it never was the “product” that excited me as much as the creative process. I often found myself slogging through the application of the idea, already thinking about the next one.

I moved from one place to another, and it wasn’t until I arrived in Asheville that I really put down roots. That path sure put me on a path of wonder as I traveled the globe with my air force family and then kept moving for another 13 years after leaving home. In Asheville I found the earth connection that feeds me best and so striking roots here only made sense. But for someone used to moving, staying in one place was challenging. So I changed my personal path, from business woman, home builder, politics and community service and my own creative endeavors.

One thing was consistent throughout. The desire to keep learning new things. Took me 33 years but I finished an undergraduate degree that started in the field of Music, as a piano player, zigged into the arts after a nasty professor popped my musical value, and finally leaned into literature after one university rejected all the credits of the previous one. A class at a time until I had enough credits for more than 2 degrees, but even better than that, I had had the opportunity to really go down so many interesting paths and learn new things. Ever a junky for learning, I got my Masters as few years after that. So, that was a destination I am proud to have met.

When I was serving in local politics, I was as surprised as anyone to find myself there. I entered politics after taking some real time off from what had been a grueling stage of life that had demanded a lot of me. In both business and in my personal life, (young children and running a business at the same time) I had been pushed to the edges of my limits and realized that I needed to quit focusing so much on doing and understand what it was to BE. I remember sitting in the garden on the initiation of my sabbatical, looking up at the sky, and saying “I’m going to take a break, if you need me for anything, just let me know.” Well, lo and behold about a year later I found myself standing up in the middle of a community meeting and pushing back against the BS that we were being told. And then I found myself elected to office as the first write in candidate in WNC in a long damn time. Then on to a higher office and all in all I spent another 13 years giving all I had to my community. Once again I wondered, “how in the heck did I get here.” It was about that time, when walking around the lake as I did everyday to heal a back injury, that the thought came into my head. “Every step you take is the path you make.” And I knew then and there, that if I paid attention to the now, to taking that step in front of me, then I could look back at the path confidently and know I had done the best I could.

I got my greatest peace from practicing that attention to presence. I was fortunate to get the opportunity to turn to music again and this time, I was determined to not let the judgement of others deter me. I discovered that in fact it WAS the creative flow that gave me the most juice. I loved not having a product at the end of the performance. It was always about being present in the moment, in giving it all you have, and that place still gives me a lot of juice. I had some great times with music, performed with some very talented people and in some surprising places. The path continues to invite me into those places.

And now, I find myself here at my new project, Wondering Path Studio, offering Intuition Painting and other modalities that ignite the moment of NOW and invite our playful, expressive selves out to help us find our way to that deep peace that comes from allowing ourselves to BE. Without judgement. Without worry. Without the skills we were told we had to have to let our artistic self be. No products necessary. Just the experience of the moment with our selves.

I guess when I look back at the path I have made it actually does make a lot of sense to find myself here. Funny how that works.